Self Enquiry Questions:

(Note: the questions are borrowed from a post by Lucid entitled "The New Year is Up and Running"; and the image is an LJ icon by MysticMirth)


I may yet post another, more general version of my answers to these questions from Caitlin Matthews in my personal journal. In the meantime, though, I wanted to explore my answers to them specifically as they relate to my meditation and mindfulness practice, and especially as they relate to my 2008 year theme of 'Stable Foundations'. So... here we go then.


The Questions

The questions below originally come from Caitlin Matthews' "Celtic Devotional", and run as follows:

1. What am I endeavoring to manifest now in my life?
2. How can I change my thought patterns to empower my goals?
3. What old connections can I release now, for my highest good?
   
4. What wisdom is seeking to reveal itself to me at this time?
5. What new idea has seeded itself this winter, and how can I best nurture it to fruition, as the Earth nurtures her seeds?
   
6. What are the imprisoning fears that I feel ready to release?
   
7. What part of me will awaken as the rebirth of Spring arrives?
   
8. How can I best focus on my blessings this season?
9. How can I turn negatives into positives?
   
10. How can I make the best use of this lifetime?

And the answers?



1. What am I endeavouring to manifest now in my life?

I'm trying to create a stable foundation of regular, if not daily, mindfulness and meditation practice. This doesn't have to involve sitting, but can do. It's about building a base where being mindful of what is - both within me and around me - is the default position. It's not about stopping thinking or imagining or telling myself stories; but it is about mindful awareness of the fact that I'm both doing it when I do it, and that it is my choice as to whether I continue to do it, or choose a different way of being.



2. How can I change my thought patterns to empower my goals?

OK, this is a somewhat harder question, but still a valid one:

• I can stop making excuses or creating blame. Things are what they are, and I need to work with them from there.
• I can stop comparing myself to others. I know intellectually that everyone's on their own path - just because someone else seems to be able to meet a challenge with ease, it doesn't automatically follow that I should be able to.
  
• In that vein, get rid of that damn 'should' stick. I know 'should' is one of the most profoundly unhelpful word in the English language - but it's also one of the harder ones to eradicate. I can still work on doing so though.

3. What old connections can I release now, for my highest good?

Oooh, interesting question. What connections do I need to release? I'm not sure about this one - it may require more thought.



4. What wisdom is seeking to reveal itself to me at this time?

Interesting... when I try to follow the answer to this one back through to my intuition, the answer I get very strongly is 'you already have everything you need... quit stalling and put it into practice already!' And I know the voice I hear it in as well. Ooookay, thank you Scathach, grand high butt-kicker and failproof reality-checker in the Starfireverse!



5. What new idea has seeded itself this winter, and how can I best nurture it to fruition, as the Earth nurtures her seeds?

OK, in this case, I'm going to change the seasons around a little, given that it's High Summer down here in the southern hemisphere in the Land of the Long White Cloud. Instead, I'm going to ask what seed has been growing into a seedling over the spring, that's getting ready to fruit now?

And I think the answer there is this blog. I sat with the idea of it during a fairly stressful second half of 2007, and finally started it up back in December. Ideally, it's going to be a tool to support my own practice, while letting me connect with other people who have similar interests, and help me support and offer resources to other folks' practice too.

As to how I can nurture it? Keep posting. Remember to make a note, when I meditation, of any topics that might make good blog posts. Remember to keep reading other related blogs, and posting links to articles I've found helpful and/or inspirational.

*pauses*

*thinks*

Yeah, that sounds about right :-)



6. What are the imprisoning fears that I feel ready to release?

Hmmmmm, imprisoning fears? That I can't keep anything (whether it be regular practice, or regular posting) going long-term. That I'm more of a 'flash in the pan' kind of person - I go wild with something when I first start it, but enthusiasm rapidly wanes, and eventually I just give up again.

I guess the way to deal with that is to look at those areas in my life where I have kept things going long-term. My relationship with the lovely Gryphon (the wonderful man to whom I'm married) - my Communication degree studies - my love of reading and learning. So it's not true to say I can't keep things going long term, and fearing it isn't helping me achieve what I want.

I'm not quite sure what I'll do with the realisation from there though.



7. What part of me will awaken as the rebirth of Spring arrives?

I'll look at this one as 'what part of me awoke last spring', and answer it as the part that wants to integrate my spirituality and mindfulness practice within a balanced whole 21st century person, rather than trying to constantly separate out time and space for it off to one side, apart from 'real life'. It's not that I believe I shouldn't be able to take time out sometimes... gods know I need that... but more a recognition that I want to be spiritual and mindful within the main part of my life as well...



8. How can I best focus on my blessings this season?

By refusing to be complacent about them... by taking time out at the end of each day to look back and recognise the areas I've been blessed in that day. There are so damn many of them, after all ;-) I think my gratitude journal may need to come out again. Plus, taking the time during my walks to work, or moments on the PC to just breathe and recognise that, yeah, I'm a very blessed person, and I owe it to myself to recognise and be mindful of the fact.



9. How can I turn negatives into positives?

By looking for the lesson, looking for the blessing, or just accepting that somehow, either letting go or dealing with the situation is making me into a better person.



10. How can I make the best use of this lifetime?

I'm still working on my answer to this one. But honestly? I'm not sure there's anything different I need to be doing (at least, not right now) than I am. I'm learning what it means to be myself, and what it means to be the best me I can be.

I'm being as open as I can to new and different ideas and viewpoints - trying them on, seeing if there's value for me in them, and trying to let them go if there isn't. And I'm trying to be there for my friends and family in balanced ways that don't involve me breaking myself. I'm developing myself into the best communications expert I can be through my studies, because I believe that's a gift I have that lets me contribute to others AND make a living while I'm at it. Plus, I'm trying to create this meditation resource site to contribute to my own practice and the practice of others.

There may be a better use I can make of my life that will reveal itself to me presently. For the meantime, however, I'm reasonably content with the use I'm making of the time I'm given now.



And those are my answers.

Hmmmm... I think I'm going to make a note in my task list at the end of this year to look through these and see if my responses have changed a year down the track.

*soft smile*

If nothing else, it'll be interesting!

Thoughtful blessings




Starfire